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What Do You Do When Your Quadruplets Fight Over Mommy?

March 26, 2011 by Kimberly O'Bannon  
Filed under Multiple Births

Now there are many things about quadruplets that are fun and exciting.

And there are also things that are stressful.  I find it especially stressful when my girls fight over me and my time . . .

Too often I heard comments as:

“You spend more time with Makayla than me”

Or, “You gave Nicole more kisses than me”

At bedtime, it was “Kiss me first” . . .“No kiss me . . .“No kiss me . . .over and over from four cute adorable little girls.

It was enough to break by heart—or lose my patience.  I want to give each one the first kiss.

When you’ve struggled to have children each one is precious.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember they take each other for granted.

Like when driving home after school and four voices talking at once—each one trying to be first to tell Mommy about her day.


Never thought all the years of trying to get pregnant would lead to me being something that is fought over. Rather funny really.

Now I love my girls very dearly.  When they fight over me it makes me feel a little guilty.  And I’m sure it increases my stress.  Definitely not a good idea while driving home from school in traffic!

What are some ways to stop your quadruplets fighting over Mommy?

1. Set a timer.

I have been using a timer with my girls since they were probably six months old.

I set the timer for equal time for each girl, which is fair.  Each one knows when her time is up it’s time to
share . . .whether it is a toy or a game or me.

When I’m tucking them in I want to spend time with each one at bedtime.  So I’ll set the timer for five minutes for each girl.

2. Divide the children up into smaller groups.

I sometimes do activities with two and two.  Since I have four children it works out rather evenly.  Often when watching TV I’ll sit next to two of them at the same time.  Midway through the program I will switch and sit with the other two.

Or maybe I’ll play a board game with two of them for 15 minutes and then switch to the other two.

3. Do activities with all four at once.

I find ways to play with all four of them at the exact same time.  That way they can’t accuse me of spending too much time with one over the other!  This works out best for playing outdoor games or going bicycle riding or playing Clue with them.

quadruplets4. Randomly draw a number from a cup.

I have a little blue cup with four pieces of paper.  Each piece of paper has a number — one, two, three and four.

Each of the girls knows exactly what their birth order number is.  I use this cup by randomly pulling out a number determining which child gets to do something first.  So, if they can’t decide who gets to tell the story to Mommy first, or who gets to sit by Mommy at dinner, then I pull a number from the cup.  The number tells us which child gets to do the activity.

It’s a random and “fair” way to stop fighting over Mommy.

When you find your quadruplets or other multiples fighting over Mommy or Daddy, one or more of these ideas may work for you.

They reduce my stress, and think they will for you too.

When you’re stressed and overwhelmed sometimes you need a quick solution.  I received help from my friends Chief Robert TallTree and his wife Terri TallTree.  You can read all about how I felt stress-free in only five minutes by clicking on this link or this picture.

The Three 'Deadly' Mistakes That Cause Stress, Overwhelm and Burnout by Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree

To Your Abundant Life with Multiples,

Kimberly O’Bannon
Ambassador of Positive Parenting, www.howtoliveonpurpose.com
Founder, TipsForMomsOfMultiples.com
AKA MultiMommy

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